Kevin's words at the service

Daddy’s Little Angel
Before Averi was born, I had never had my faith tested. Praying was something I did when I wanted the 49ers to score, or I was late for work and did not want to deal with traffic. Promises that I would make with no real conviction, to make me feel as though I had all my bases covered.
Then there was this little girl vibrating on a bed, with tubes all over, some pushing things in and some taking things out. I was truly helpless, what was I to do? I know…I will barter with Jesus…I mean everyone has been talking about praying and maybe if I truly promise to be good, a better Christian, stop just speaking the word and actually living it then maybe…maybe Jesus would let me bring her home.
So there I sat, learning about every machine she was on, researching every medication that they put in, refusing to leave her bedside, just stroking her head, and letting her know that her daddy was there. I loved to read to her, and hold her little hand. The way that she would look at me with those beautiful blue eyes, I could tell that she was a fighter; all the nurses would tell me that they had to up her sedatives because she refused to stay still. I was so proud of the fight that she was putting up and encouraged her all the way. I started to actually believe that she was coming home; it looked closer and closer every day.
But that was not his plan, and I did not understand why. Why would he take her away from me, what happened? Did I do something wrong? Did I pray wrong, did I not pray enough? No, that was not it at all, Jesus was answering prayers, Averi had made a difference in this world, and although the pain of our loss is great, the joy she brought me is greater. She made me want to be what I promised Jesus I would. And this whole time I was thinking I was bringing her home but now I see she was the one bringing me home.

Thank You All,
Kevin