Our youngest Ian turned 5 today. We took him to Go Bananas a jump house place for a family celebration. He had a blast with his brother, sister, and 2 of his cousins.
His party was planned for August 8th. I intially wanted to cancel this party and crawl in that whole I talked about earlier. What would I tell people when they asked if it was a boy or a girl, how would I explain what was going on. Kevin had finally told his parents, brother, and sister. We just didn't know how to tell all of our friends. Then I came to my senses. Ian deserved his party this situation wasn't his fault.
On a personal note regarding my feelings ( I am including this so that if there is another mom dealing with this same situation that may have the same feelings they do not feel alone like I did.)...... I hate to admit this looking back it seems so harsh, but I intially thought to pull away from the baby, somehow distance myself emotionally. Then once again I came to my senses. I wanted this baby. We wanted this baby. We tried for this baby for over 2 years. The baby was a blessing from God. Somehow He had a plan. Kevin admitted he felt the same way at first. I could feel the baby move all day long, we had plans for this baby. There was no way I could disconnect. We were getting intial results and a couple of days and hopefully have some answers.
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